Why Do I Feel Like A Fraud?

Welcome, fellow self-doubters, fraudsters and non-believers, to the most exclusive club you never knew you were a part of – "The Society for High Achievers! Don't worry; there is no secret handshake; you don't even need a code word; you just need to be convinced you've bamboozled the world with your accidental success!

Now that you are here, you might be wondering, "Am I in the right place? I mean, I'm just faking my way through life, right?" Well, congratulations, pat yourself on the back; you've earned your honorary imposter badge.

And, if you've ever wondered, "How did I get this self-imposed badge" or "How did I manage to slip past the guard of adulthood or professional success" fear not! We're here to toast your inner imposter, pull back the curtain on a more common phenomenon than you want to believe, and even throw in a few tips and tricks to boost your confidence and set you free.

What Is Imposter Syndrome?

"It is particularly common among high-achievers and those who experience success in competitive environments."

Imposter syndrome, also known as the imposter phenomenon or imposter experience, is a psychological pattern and set of beliefs in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as frauds or "imposters." Despite evidence of their competence and achievements, people with imposter syndrome often feel that they don't deserve the success they have achieved and attribute it to luck or external factors rather than their own abilities.

People experiencing imposter syndrome may believe they are not as competent or skilled as others perceive them to be, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. They may also engage in constant self-criticism and fear that others will eventually discover their perceived lack of abilities, which can cause significant stress and anxiety.

Imposter syndrome can affect people from all walks of life, regardless of their actual accomplishments or expertise. It is particularly common among high-achievers and those who experience success in competitive environments. However, with self-awareness, support, and strategies, you can overcome imposter syndrome and develop healthier self-confidence and self-worth.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to imposter syndrome. Some common ones include:

• Perfectionism: People with imposter syndrome often have high standards for themselves and are afraid of making mistakes.

• Low self-esteem: People with imposter syndrome may view themselves and their abilities negatively.

• Fear of failure: People with imposter syndrome may be afraid of failing and being exposed as a fraud.

• Comparison to others: People with imposter syndrome may compare themselves to others and feel like they don't measure up.

Why do I Experience Imposter Syndrome?

You can experience Imposter Syndrome for various reasons, and it often arises from a combination of internal and external factors. Here are some common reasons why you may experience Imposter Syndrome:

• High Standards and Perfectionism: People who set extremely high standards for themselves and strive for perfection in everything they do may be more prone to Imposter Syndrome. Regardless of their achievements, they often feel like they are never good enough.

• A Protection Strategy: We have some very old software that wants to protect us from danger. This is often misplaced, though. What was once life or death is no longer the case.

• Early Life Experiences: Childhood experiences, such as excessive criticism, unrealistic expectations, or lack of validation for achievements, can contribute to developing feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt later in life.

• Fear of Failure: The fear of failure and making mistakes can lead individuals to doubt their abilities and feel like they are imposters. They may believe that their successes were merely due to luck or external factors rather than their skills or competence.

• Comparisons and social media: Constantly comparing yourself to others, especially in the age of social media, where people often showcase their successes and achievements, can reinforce feelings of inadequacy and fuel Imposter Syndrome.

• Stereotype Threat: Individuals who belong to underrepresented or marginalised groups in certain fields may experience stereotype threat. This phenomenon occurs when the fear of confirming negative stereotypes about their group affects their confidence and performance, leading to Imposter Syndrome.

• Lack of Internal Validation: Relying solely on external validation and praise to feel competent can make individuals vulnerable to Imposter Syndrome. Without intrinsic belief in their abilities, they may doubt their accomplishments.

• Cognitive Distortions: Cognitive distortions, such as discounting successes or magnifying failures, can contribute to a distorted self-perception, leading to Imposter Syndrome.

• Career Transitions or Advancements: Moving into a new role or position of higher responsibility can trigger feelings of inadequacy, as individuals may fear they are not qualified or prepared enough for the new challenges.

• Mental Health Factors: Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues can exacerbate feelings of self-doubt and contribute to Imposter Syndrome.

It's important to note that Imposter Syndrome is a complex psychological phenomenon, and different people may experience it for different reasons. Additionally, some people may be more predisposed to developing Imposter Syndrome due to personality traits or past experiences. Addressing Imposter Syndrome often involves self-awareness, self-compassion, challenging negative thought patterns, and seeking support from friends, family, or professionals.

Is Imposter Syndrome More Common In Certain Groups?

Imposter syndrome may be more common in certain groups of people, including:

• Women: Women are more likely than men to experience imposter syndrome. This may be due to a number of factors, including the fact that women are often underrepresented in leadership roles and may feel like they have to work harder to be taken seriously.

• People from minority groups: People from minority groups are also more likely to experience imposter syndrome. This may be due to the fact that they may have faced discrimination or prejudice in their lives, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

• High-achievers: High-achievers are also more likely to experience imposter syndrome. This may be because they set high standards for themselves and are afraid of failing.

• People with perfectionist tendencies: People with perfectionist tendencies are also more likely to experience imposter syndrome. This is because they are constantly striving for perfection and are never satisfied with their work.

You may be more likely to experience imposter syndrome if you belong to any of these groups. However, it is important to remember that imposter syndrome is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy. It is simply a common psychological phenomenon that can affect anyone.

How Can I Overcome Imposter Syndrome?

We promised some tricks and tips, and here they are. Here are 10 to help you overcome imposter syndrome:

1. Acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel out of your depth sometimes. Everyone feels that way from time to time. The important thing is to acknowledge your feelings, and appreciate this could be a protection strategy, you don’t have to let them control you.

2. Focus on your strengths. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Make a list of your strengths and remind yourself of them whenever you start to feel like a fraud.

3. Coaching. Coaches can help you explore and understand the underlying causes of you imposter feelings. By identifying thought patterns, beliefs and triggers, you can gain insights into their self-doubt and begin to challenge them.

4. Set realistic goals. Don't set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually work up to larger ones.

5. Celebrate your successes. When you achieve a goal, take the time to celebrate your success. This will help you to build your confidence and self-esteem. You can even set up a file where you can add any success or feedback you receive.

6. Talk to someone you trust. Talk to a friend, family member, professional, or mentor about how you are feeling. Having someone to listen to you and offer support can be helpful.

7. Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. Your beliefs are your rules in life. When you start to think negative thoughts about yourself or have limiting beliefs, challenge them. Ask yourself if there is any evidence to support those thoughts. What would be more helpful to believe?

8. Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same understanding and compassion you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

9. Remember that you are not alone. Imposter syndrome is a common psychological phenomenon that can affect anyone. Many people have overcome imposter syndrome, including many of the people who inspire you and you look up to.

10. Reframe the meaning. Rather than interpreting the feeling as fear – “I’m going to get found out” or “I’m going to fail”, think of it as a sign that you are stretching yourself and growing.

Act Now!

Finally, remember, you are not alone; there are more people than you realise who are part of this not-so-secret society, including people you look up to, people in the same room as you, and people who trigger this response in you. So, instead of fearing these moments of self-doubt, embrace them for what they are, opportunities to grow and shine; it’s these moments that have got you to where you are now; wear them like a badge of honour – your very own badges of authenticity.

If you want to find out more about how we can support you through coaching, click here.

Until next time.

Dream big! Act now!