How to communicate better (with anyone)

Think of a recent meeting you have been in, and chances are, as you look around the room, you will find a mix of communication styles. Some people are very vocal, hate fluff and huge amounts of detail and want short, clear bullets of information. Some people write endless notes and love to give endless amounts of data, others love small talk, and some people will sit quietly absorbing the information being given.

DISC is a really useful model that helps us to understand behaviour and adapt to our audience. The model is represented as a 4-box grid. Along the top axis, we have assertive, extroverted and fast-paced behaviours. Opposite to this, we have passive, introverted slower-paced behaviours running along the bottom. To the left, we have goal-focused behaviours, and then finally, to the right people-focused behaviours.

This throws up 4 behaviour types.

• D - Direct or dominant - (we also call them Panthers)

• I - Influential - ( we also call these peacocks)

• S - Stable or Steadiness (these are our Dolphins)

• C - Compliant or conscientious (these are our Owls)

Chances are, and as the statistics tell us you will be a mix of different types, although may have a dominant type. What DISC can help us with is understanding our own communication preferences as well as those of other types. Once we know this we can plan and adapt our communication accordingly.

D

Traits: Forceful, assertive, appear sure of themself. They tend to have a “telling style”

Prefer: Direct, clear, specific, logical, alternatives and choices

Dislike: Fluff, vagueness, waffle or too much information

I

Traits: Love to be heard, energetic, friendly, love small talk

Prefer: Optimistic, their opinion to be shared, social, friendly

Dislike: Feeling unliked, not having space to talk or be heard.

S

Traits: Quite, they won’t be the first to talk, and may look disengaged.

Prefer: Love to listen and process, clarity, therefore need time

Dislike: Being rushed for an answer.

C

Traits: Precise, detailed, may take time to get them to commit as the way up all the pros cons and risks.

Prefer: Agenda upfront, data, direct, facts, process and to be able to ask questions

Dislike: Being wrong, or taking unnecessary risks, which can also mean commuting and saying something without the necessary information

Once you are aware of the 4 types take a moment to reflect on your preferences. If there is a type that fills you with dread chances are you are the opposite of this preference, likewise, if there is a type you feel totally at ease with (and wish more people would be like), chances are you have this type in you.

It’s important to note there is no right or wrong here, even though some types may lead you to believe this is the case. Each type brings a unique perspective to any team. That said if you are trying to communicate with someone and land a message it does help to know how to adapt to their preference and communicate in their language.

The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher.”

Chinese Proverb

7 Tips

Finally here are 7 tips to help you communicate better (with anyone).

1. Listen actively: Pay attention to what the other person is saying, maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting - that includes looking at your phone. Show genuine interest in their perspective and avoid distractions.

2. Use open-ended questions: Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," ask open-ended questions that encourage the person to provide more information and share their thoughts.

3. Practice empathy: Try to understand the other person's point of view and emotions. Put yourself in their shoes and show empathy by acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences.

4. Be mindful of your body language: Non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture can convey a lot of information. Maintain a relaxed and open posture, use appropriate facial expressions, and avoid crossing your arms or appearing defensive.

5. Be clear and concise: Use clear and straightforward language to express your thoughts and ideas. Avoid jargon or technical terms that may not be familiar to the other person. Be mindful of your tone of voice and speak at a moderate pace.

6. Avoid making assumptions: Don't assume you know what the other person is thinking or feeling. Clarify any misunderstandings and ask for clarification if needed.

7. Adapt your communication style: Adjust your communication style to match the needs and preferences of the person you're interacting with. Some individuals may prefer a more direct approach, while others may respond better to a more collaborative or supportive style.

Remember, effective communication is a skill that can be developed over time with practice. Be patient with yourself and others as you work towards becoming a better communicator.

Act Now!

If there is someone you are struggling to communicate with someone, try to guess their behaviour preferences, then adapt your style accordingly.

If you want to find out your communication style, click here

Until next time.

Dream big! Act now!